Sex, Love and some common Sexual Problems in Relationship

Most relationships are faced with several sexual problems. These problems have been seen as the most common reasons why couples seek sex therapist counsel.  This is so because, sex is such an integral or important part of marital relationship. Lack of sex can result to conflicts and sometimes Divorce.

What is sex?

Sex is defined as a biological event or act that involves two parties in a relationship. Love on the other hand is an expression of emotion or feeling. From these definitions, sex and love are seen to be two different things. This is so because, this emotion or feeling can be expressed in the act of sex and nonsexual activities like hugging, kissing, petting, touching of each other in a relationship.  It is also worthy of note to state that sex can stem from most of the aforementioned nonsexual acts. This therefore implies that there is a direct link between nonsexual events and sex proper as well as between nonsexual, sex events and love.

Motives for having Sex in a Relationship

From a more specific perspective, the motives for which parties in a relationship have sex have been streamlined into what is called the “Big Three Motives” which are for “love, Pleasure and making babies”.

On a general note, the motives for having sex ranges from Physical reasons such as for pleasure, stress relief, exercise, sexual curiosity to Goal-Based Reasons like for making babies, improvement of social status and sexual revenge to Emotional Reasons such as for expression of love, commitment, and gratitude and then to Insecurity Reasons which includes to boost self-esteem, to keep partner from seeking sex elsewhere, for feeling a sense of duty etc.

Importance/ Role of Sex in Relationships

The role/importance of sex in relationship appears to be enormous as it goes beyond emotion and psyche to having some very vital health benefits. The importance of sex from the emotional perspectives are as follows:

  1. Sex strengthens the couples level of connection
  1. It releases moods and happiness
  2. It helps to improve esteem and self-image
  3. It creates spontaneity in the relationship
  4. It renews and rejuvenates feelings
  5. It rekindles romance in relationship etc.

From the health perspectives, sex can help to:

  1. Lower the risk of cancer especially cancer in the reproductive and endocrine systems
  2. Increase the pain threshold of the couple especially that of the female party. This is highly needed for pregnancy and labour experience during child birth.
  3. Boost the immunity of the couple
  4. Improve bladder control
  5. Sex serves as exercise especially long-sex. The amount of energy that is exerted in the course of the sexual event as well as the amount of calories that is burnt can be likened to that of some kilometers walking or trekking. This in no doubt can help to improve the blood bumping rate, heart beat and health. Etc.

Some common Sexual Problems in Relationships

In spite of the above listed importance, roles and benefits of sex in a marital relationship, sex is also seen to be bedeviled by some problems which tends to affect the relationship adversely. Some of the sexual related problems in relationships are:

  • Too exhausted for sex. This is often blamed on long day works and stress from catering for children
  • Boredom in the bedroom which stems from routine nature or lack of variety in bed.
  • Inability for one or both sex parties to achieve or reach orgasm
  • Erectile Dysfunction- this is an inability for the man or male party to the relationship to achieve or keep an erection
  • No stimulation
  • Sexual desire discrepancy or difference (SDD): here one party is seen to have high desire for sex while the other have low desire. This makes sex unsatisfactory to both couple and of course can lead to conflict and unhealthy relationship.

The above sexual problems as we are aware are seen as the root cause of most of the challenges that most relationship are faced with. To be more specific, most marriages have packed up due to some of these sexual problems and as such our major focus is to provide appropriate, useful, tested and proven tips on how to overcome such sexual problems in marital relationship.

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